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Old February 23rd, 2008, 06:36 AM
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Forsaken

Title: Forsaken
Author: Ki
Disclaimer: The character of Balian of Ibelin was a living man - he belongs to himself and those who have further told his story. I mean no harm.
Category: Original Work
Type: Poetry
Rating: Nothing Scary
Brief Summary: Balian was a man in turmoil. This is an attempt to see his thoughts.



Words do not make a Knight
Prayers do not absolve sin
They cannot put wrong right
I am no hero, no warrior of God
I am a man, flawed, empty

Husband of a suicide
Her face I see in my dreams
I failed her
And now she wanders
in eternal torment

Godforsaken
Empty of heart, empty of feeling
Anger burning, rage enveloping
My brother, the thief
I watched him die

I seek Jerusalem
The city of God
Where all may be saved
Yet there is no God here
At least not for one such as I

I am the son of a Knight
But I am no Son of God
My sins follow me
Her eyes draw me
Adultery finds me

I have forsaken God
Yet he calls me
This Godless Man
To defend the defenseless
Arise a Knight
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Old February 23rd, 2008, 06:59 AM
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God, you're on a roll today Ki.

That was exquisite - haunting and so compelling.

You have no idea what I want to do to him to make it all better.

Truly touching and I will have to re-read - it made me think...a lot. Actually fits in so beautifully with the emotions I'm trying to capture in the new Balian fic I'm putting down - amazing timing and so poignant - it will help the process Ki, thanks so much.

cheers
Luna
xx
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Old February 23rd, 2008, 08:07 AM
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You really have a wonderful talent Ki, to be able to capture so much in so few words.

~Gem~
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Old February 23rd, 2008, 08:19 AM
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Beautiful Ki. Really captured the essence of Balian.
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Old February 24th, 2008, 12:03 AM
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I have some idea Luna...yes. Thanks Gem and Corinna, I am glad that you like it. It had been in a half written state for a while so was good to get it done...
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Old February 24th, 2008, 01:40 PM
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brilliant KI- it is in that contradiction of Balian that his true nobilty lies I think- he IS flawed and having sinned against the 'word of God' he must then redeem a culture really.
Fabulous. thanks for that
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Old February 24th, 2008, 10:32 PM
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Sad, but capturing it all so beautifully
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Old February 25th, 2008, 07:53 AM
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Thanks Nuit and Avalon. He is a complex character and sad to his very core. All those flaws did make him a better man I think but he judged himself so much more that those that were around him.
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Old February 25th, 2008, 10:40 PM
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You have beautifully captured the complexity that is Balian. Brava!

Lanta
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Old February 26th, 2008, 08:46 AM
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Thanks Lanta I am glad that you liked it.
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