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Old May 31st, 2010, 12:01 PM
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Post You (Poem - [G])

Title: You
Author: Auroraluna Stormdancer
Category: Based on the 'character' of Balian of Ibelin from Kingdom of Heaven
Type: Poem
Rating: G
Why: I don't know - it had to come out. Forgive me - I don't do poetry as a rule. And I don't really know why I'm posting it but I hope you get something from it. I do.


Thanks as ever to the talented and beautiful Erendira who is always willing to indulge my brainbursts! *hugs to you my lovely*




YOU

Toil roughened palms are so tender upon me
Soothing and gentle as they ease all my pain

I yearn for you so, do you feel the same?


You read of my soul with non-judging clear eyes
That sear down through barriers and lay me bare

Do you see the true love that is hiding there?


A spoken caress falls on sad, starving ears
Endearments ride upon soft dulcet tones

Do you know how I shiver, down through my bones?


A sturdy form honed by toil, strong, tall and true
Warrior flesh sheathing peace nestled within

What would I give to lay you down skin to skin?


Safe in your arms as they enfold me with love
Worries banished as I soak in steady calm

Do you know I would die to keep you from harm?


A pulse beats lifeblood of strength, kindness and love
Forging will of steel to aid all those you see

Can you share that great heart forever with me?


From Beyond, where we dwelt, to walk here once more
Soul to soul we are joined, our bond is renewed

Will you stay with me now and love me so true?


For all that I want…forever…is You.
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Last edited by Stormdancer; June 1st, 2010 at 02:03 AM.
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  #2  
Old May 31st, 2010, 12:07 PM
Krazymoonkat Krazymoonkat is offline
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It's beautiful Luna and what a lovely banner Lola created to go with it.
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  #3  
Old May 31st, 2010, 09:31 PM
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Beautiful Luna and thank you for sharing. The warrior and the gentle soul interwined there is a lovely image and the yearing is warming yet sad as well

XXXX
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Old May 31st, 2010, 09:44 PM
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*LE SIGH*

Wonderful Luna..
xxx
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  #5  
Old May 31st, 2010, 09:49 PM
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Itīs just wonderful, Luna! Thank you so much for posting.
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Old May 31st, 2010, 09:51 PM
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I'm glad you decided to go ahead and post this Luna. For someone who doesn't 'get' poetry you do it remarkably well! It's just lovely, and the beautiful banner by Lola the perfect accompaniment. Thank you so much for sharing it with us.
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Old June 1st, 2010, 12:00 AM
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As I told you when I first read it,the poem is bautiful because we can see that it comes from your heart....it must be a wonderful sensation to touch deeply other people by puting some words together,you're blessed with that gift ,no matter what you write your words go straight to my soul. Thank you for sharing.
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Last edited by erendira; June 1st, 2010 at 07:28 AM.
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Old June 1st, 2010, 12:28 AM
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Lightbulb

OMG, Luna! That's brilliant, I feel so faint (in a good way)! Just beautiful!
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Old June 1st, 2010, 02:08 AM
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Wow - thanks everyone very much, I appreciate you being so gentle with me! As Gem says, I don't 'get' poetry at all, and never read it (except Ki's) so was very hesitant to post this as it is just a bunch of words with no experience or any understanding of the 'rules' of poetry behind them. As I said, it just came out, and I quite like it, even if it defies all the rules as it most probably does! I'm glad you liked it though, and thanks for saying so - and thanks Ki too, from someone who can write it, I appreciate your comments. Thanks Gem for pushing me and thanks to Lola *hugs my darling* for the banner and for your always so supportive words.

(I did follow one rule I set myself - every line is 11 syllables in length - that made it a bit more difficult - challenging but fun. I don't know why I did that - sometimes I'm a bit strange even to me...)

cheers
Luna
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Last edited by Stormdancer; June 1st, 2010 at 02:27 AM.
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Old June 1st, 2010, 02:46 AM
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I don't think that there are any rules....I think you just write what is there and it finds its own way.

I am hoping that you get struck by this sort of writing more often X
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  #11  
Old June 1st, 2010, 03:17 AM
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Beautiful Luna! Like Ki said about the warrior and the gentle soul, the hardness and softness coexisting, in this strong, beautiful man. Lovely poem.
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Old June 1st, 2010, 03:21 AM
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Wonderful, Luna!
Reading it gave me goosebumps. Like Lola said - you can feel that it comes from the heart.
Remember - there are no rules. Only guidelines.
And what a great banner you made, Lola!
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Old June 1st, 2010, 06:12 AM
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That is so stunning Luna- so directly from the heart and pulling at all that emotion of desire and longing and loyalty, beautiful beautiful. I especially liked the part about the warrior on the outside and peace in side. Gorgeous.
And what an appropriate banner. A treat to find- thank you XXX
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Old June 1st, 2010, 10:26 AM
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Thank you everyone, I'm very touched by your words. This means a lot to me. Thank you from my heart. xxxx

PS : That was my favourite bit too Nuit!
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Old June 1st, 2010, 11:00 AM
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well is the essence of Balian perhaps, that combination of strength, of physical presence, combined with a deeply thoughtful man.
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Last edited by nuit; June 1st, 2010 at 12:12 PM.
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Old June 1st, 2010, 11:05 AM
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yes...indeed :)
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Old June 1st, 2010, 11:08 AM
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Funnily enough it brought to mind someone else too Luna...
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Old June 1st, 2010, 11:20 AM
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indeed :)
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Old June 1st, 2010, 12:47 PM
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Oh my....

I totally missed this.

And now I'm sittin' here with 'pipi-eyes' as we say. You did it so well for not being into poems. You touched my heartstrings, really.

And that beautiful banner, that Lola did, fits perfect!

I need fresh air now....
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Old June 1st, 2010, 12:57 PM
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Thanks so much Stephanie, glad you liked it. I always wonder what it must be like to read something in a second language, and wonder if I would understand all the nuances of the words. I think you are all amazing that you can read and enjoy it so much - and sadly I can't return the favour, being stuck with just the one language. Well, good lessons in English for you at any rate! I appreciate you reading...and enjoying...and saying so. :) :
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  #21  
Old June 1st, 2010, 02:16 PM
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I confess poetry is normally not, what is use to read - but this was really magnetic for me. I actually read it for the fourth time.

Luna, it's wonderful, even if I didn't get all the nuances although I tried to do so. If our brave and gentle knight would hear it, we all together would have no chance of charming that boy (stop - he's a man!) away from you. Oh, Luna... what great work for someone who calls herself not to be a poet.

@ Lola: *sigh* What a banner! Wow!
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Last edited by Gundolf; June 2nd, 2010 at 01:50 PM.
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Old June 2nd, 2010, 07:21 AM
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Thanks so much Gundolf - four reads through, I am honoured. Glad you liked it so much - and yes, I would have a hard time letting him go if I had him, let me tell you! He is rather divine!

I confess I had a hard time choosing the banner, Lola sent me two (here is the other one, and it is the one I chose initially and am still torn between them)



Lola-have linked them to your photobucket because mine wouldn't let me in. Hope this is okay. Just don't move 'em! I love them both!

hugs
Luna
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  #23  
Old June 2nd, 2010, 01:48 PM
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Oh I understand. Really, they are both marvellous - but with this handsome knight it's difficult to not like a banner ... *sigh*
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